How To Preserve a Husband

Found this little piece in one of my cookbooks and thought it a little interesting:

A good many husbands are entirely spoiled by mismanagement in cooking and are not tender and good. Some women keep them constantly in hot water; others freeze them and others put them in a stew. Others roast them, while others keep them constantly in a pickle. It cannot be expected that any husband will be good and tender if managed in this way.

They are really delicious when properly treated. Don't keep him in a kettle by force as he will stay there by himself if proper care is taken. If he should sputter or fizz, don't be anxious; some husbands do this. Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call "kisses" but no vinegar or pepper on any account. A little spice improves him but it must be with judgement. Stir him gently the while lest he be too long in the kettle and become flat and tasteless. Follow these directions closely and you will find him very digestible, agreeing nicely with you and he will keep as long as you want.